pete's online journal of how to eat food

my roommate's diet

my room mate eats microwaved potatoes for every meal. he puts a large potato cut into 3 or 4 pieces into a pyrex bowl that has some water in it, and microwaves it for like 8 minutes and when they cook they make all kinds of weird popping and squealing noises which he seems to enjoy very much. i have to admit that listening to popping and squealing has an appealing feeling like peeling paint from the ceiling. he goes through a ten lb bag of potatoes every week and a half which means he eats about 30 lbs of potatoes every month. he puts salt, margarine, and mayonnaise in them to improve the flavor but unfortunately none of those things will significantly improve the nutrition of his empty-starch diet. yesterday i was making a tuna sandwich but with salmon instead of tuna. i guess i could have just called it a salmon sandwich but i thought if i called it a tuna sandwich first you would more easily understand that this was with canned salmon mixed up with mayo and chopped up pickles, exactly how you would prepare a tuna salad sandwich but using what i like to call salmon salad which is just like tuna salad but with canned salmon instead of canned tuna. i should probably also mention that i melted some cheese on the sandwich using the broiler function of the oven, so technically it would be called a tuna melt if i had used tuna, which i didn't. i used canned salmon but i would rather call it a tuna melt with salmon instead of tuna (over calling it a salmon melt) because if i just said i made a salmon melt without explaining all that you would have no fucking idea what i was talking about and probably get really pissed at me and stop reading this article about my roommate's diet which has a happy ending that i didn't want you to miss out on. if you want a hint, it has to do with the fact that salmon is supposedly pretty good for you. ok here it is. i gave him some of said canned salmon and he mixed it in with his potatoes, which is probably the most healthy meal he has had in weeks.

posted by carls @ 1:40 AM