pete's online journal of how to eat food

halloween minus 5

posted by Unknown @ 10:49 PM 1 comments

Time for a new update... according to PATRICK

Pat: pete it is no longer the seventeenth day of october
Pete: I WILL SHOVE A POTATO UP YOUR PEE HOLE

posted by Unknown @ 10:55 AM 0 comments

the seventeenth day of october, year of our lord the two thousand and sixth: thor's day.

today for lunch: two (2) bagels
one (1) pear
one (1) orange (navel)

posted by Unknown @ 10:34 AM 0 comments

1 hour later

MAJOR UPDATE: I HAVE FINISHED EATING THE GROSS POPSICLE

it tasted real bad and i cut my lip trying to bite it and i have the hickups from swallowing air and one of my teeth hurts but

posted by Unknown @ 10:10 PM 0 comments

October's Midpoint

i didn't like the taste of this crappy soda so i froze it and cut off the bottle and now i have a giant crappy soda flavored popsicle with no stick and i dont know what to do with it other than wait for it to thaw and turn it back into crappy soda

posted by Unknown @ 9:09 PM 0 comments

Thirsty Thursday

Ross: I keep wondering if every now and then a scientist fucks some animal just to see if it's true.
Ross: Then kills the ensuing horseboy.
Pete: Well you can't do that because the sperm and eggs are different in size and chemistry but if you just use standard cloning techniques to transfer the DNA, then why the hell not.
Pete: Pigs would be a likelier candidate, I'm guessing... we can already exchange organs with them.
Ross: Yep.
Pete: Rich chicks are going to start using their ova and their boyfriends' sperm to impregnate a sow so they can keep their girlish figures.
Pete: Can you imagine coming into the world via a pig's vagina? What effect would that have on a person.
Pete: What if the pig escaped into the wild while still pregnant and they couldn't find it?
Pete: What if it got captured by a pig farmer and butchered?
Pete: And when they cut off the chops they'd find a human fetus in its uterus.
Pete: What if it was extremely late-term and the fetus survived.
Pete: Would you still want to eat it?




Ross: I'd eat the placenta.

posted by Unknown @ 5:53 PM 0 comments

yom kippur

i am a jewish person so i fasted. i am updating this anyway to tell you all that fasting is hard. here is a drawing of nothing, which is what i ate. :(

posted by Unknown @ 8:24 PM 0 comments