Tuesday, January 30, 2007


Marissa made french toast out of a hand-made potato bread with rosemary. I didn't think it would work but it was delicious.

also, I made ham steaks and dumped a bunch of syrup on them right before taking them off the pan so it would soak in and caramelize, and that worked really well too. HAM STEAKS!

Friday, January 19, 2007

its my birthday today

i have a big ol' whiteboard above my desk at work

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

snow day (today!)

not only don't I have to work, i get to make a snow-cone with real snow (but not a real cone :-I )

Monday, January 15, 2007

peanuts and sesame seeds over cheetos.

you wouldnt think this would be good -- a bowl of rice with a splash of soy sauce and a handful of fire-hot cheetos -- indeed not that great. but i ate it several days in a row until i ran out of fire-hot cheetos which i won't be restocking because i don't really like them very much. i think regular cheetos are pretty good but the fire-hot cheetos are better over rice than regular cheetos. if you want to put something in your rice i would sooner recommend peanuts and sesame seeds over cheetos.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

mm mm mm Malay Satay Hut

Our site has a new writer, Katie, and she will deliver fabulously half-assed reviews of restaurants, among other things that may or may not involve baked goods. She will review restaurants on a scale of one to five butts.

On with the first review!

Malay Satay Hut: a lovely treasure hidden in the Fubonn complex on 82nd between Division and Powell. This restaurant has two other locations in Seattle, and is gaining a huge following right here in Portland. It is a welcome addition in a town where Thai restaurants are indistinguishable from each other (with the exception being Pok Pok), the only restaurant in Chinatown with good food is a tourist trap full of white people, and there are more places for a lackluster bowl of pho than hookers on 82nd ave, or Burnside, or wherever the hookers live. Now we have Malaysian food, and it is outrageously delicious.

Charlie and Pete were kind enough to let me decide on what we ate because I’ve read several reviews, and knew what dishes were good, also because I’m awesome, and have a very sophisticated palate.

I am too lazy to discuss the atmosphere, so I’ll just tell you that it’s good. Now, on with the food:

Beef Satay: I had the highest expectations for this dish, but it was a disappointment. The beef was chewy, with a fair bit of connective tissue. The peanut sauce that came with it was excellent, though. Two butts

Green beans with shrimp: This had a fancier name, but their website is down so I can’t check. This dish really didn’t do anything for me. I thought that it was pretty boring in fact, but it was one of the ones that people have been recommending, so maybe I just have no taste buds, but it’s more likely that those people do not have palates that are very sophisticated like mine. Two butts

Roti: an Indian flatbread appetizer, gently fried, but not greasy with a nice crunch, and soft in the middle. This is served with small bowl of curry. The bread is delicious, but the curry needs a little something. Regardless I’d eat it all day long. Four Butts

Malaysian Fried Rice: A spicy fried rice with nice, sweet shrimp, and chicken. I believe ketchup might also have been involved, but again with the website being down thing. It was very flavorful, and too hot for Pete, who’s a big wimp. Four butts

Tofu-mango salad: I know, it doesn’t sound real exciting because you’ve eaten mango and tofu before, but you haven’t eaten it like this. The mango is the perfect sweet, but still firm consistency, and the tofu is fried golden brown. When you bite into the tofu you discover that its interior is nearly a custard. Topped off with a sweet and spicy dressing, and you’ll have me bouncing in my seat. Five butts

Overall, Malay Satay Hut receives four butts because that mango salad was so outstanding, and they have things like avocado shakes.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Corned Beef & Cabbage

Back in 1997, 98, I worked at an old hotel in Lake Placid, NY that was trying to go timeshare. It was a horrible hotel, they kept promising to build a pool for the place, the towels were never clean, and they hired the worst people in town. A couple years after I moved out of town, my parents sent me a newspaper clipping about the maintenance man being sent away for rape.

As part of the gussying-up of this place, they decided they needed a restaurant attached. Ah what the hell, that place treated me like shit, and I need to warn people away: it was the Northwoods Inn. The restaurant was called "Northern Exposure" "Oh, like the TV show, hee hee!"

The owner of the place, to his credit, hired Sal, a former Olympic bobsledder, as manager of the place. Great guy. Unfortunately, owner held the purse strings so tight, even Sal couldn't make the place worth eating at. I got hired in as a prep cook. And yes, this was in keeping with the "worst people in town" philosophy; their prep cook was a fat stoner who had been fired from the Hilton, the bagel place, two tchotchke shops, and the German restaurant in the past year. Tony, the dishwasher, was an early Juggalo and Collin, the head cook, was a multiple felon and a barely-functional alcoholic. Holy shit, that man could drink.

Since the place lacked the budget for adequate personnel, soon my stoner ass was a line cook as well. Sal was a great cook, but he spent all his time begging the owner to get us supplies. The owner insisted on ordering it all himself. He lived in New Jersey. We were usually out of burgers. This was a bar-food joint.

One day, I was tasked with coming up with a dinner special. It was Saint Patrick's Day, and the bar manager expected a big crowd (failed to materialize). I looked in the walk-in fridge, and it was virtually bare. I'd barely have enough to serve a dozen people our staple dishes.

I had never made corned beef & cabbage before. I had never eaten corned beef & cabbage before. But I thought, Hey, I'm Irish, it's Saint Paddy's Day, I'll bet corned beef & cabbage is in my blood! So I started casting about for components. I managed to find a log of processed corned-beef lunchmeat and lots of cans of sauerkraut. Sauerkraut is made of cabbage. It is not "cabbage" of the sort one serves with a nice dish like corned beef & cabbage. But I gamely sliced some big hunks off the corned beef loaf and tossed it in the steamer with a couple cans of 'kraut.

"Nancy, the special is corned beef & cabbage!"

A couple hours into the night, it seemed like I was gonna get away with this abortion of cuisine. The place had been virtually empty the whole shift, and I had nearly forgotten about my little mixture, which was starting to look a little chapped lips on the edges.

Somebody showed up and ordered it though. I have no idea who it was. By good grace or cowardice, as soon as I heard the order for the corned beef & cabbage, I did not so much as peek my head out of the kitchen. I slopped a couple slabs on the plate, piled some sauerkraut on top of it as artfully as I could, and dandied it up with a bit of parsley.

No go. Five minutes later, I heard a raised voice from the dining room. Nancy came back into the kitchen and said, "He sent it back. He said it was sandwich meat & sauerkraut and that that wasn't corned beef & cabbage."

". . . Oh. Does he want something else?"

"No. He left."

She stared at me expectantly for a few moments more, then shrugged and walked back out to the bar.

The funny thing is, Nancy and Collin both knew about my "attempt," but didn't say anything contrary. Foodservice is full of people who couldn't care less about you and want to go home having expended the least energy possible. This place was something else, though. We were all horrible people.

I like the job I have now quite a bit more.

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Monday, January 01, 2007


my new year's reoslution for the new year is to steal the power of my enemies by consuming their flesh.